i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize