well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
