did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize
