I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
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