Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
