I think I am morally bankrupt
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
