Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Is this like a preordered booty call?
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
