I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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