She's JV to your varsity
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
