I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I think I am morally bankrupt
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize