I heard we made out
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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