Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
