How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Randomize
