So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Randomize
