I murdered the dance floor call the cops
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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