You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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