You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
