you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Randomize
