he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
