Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize