as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Randomize
