Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I understand Curling. That high.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
