Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
