I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
