So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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