people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Randomize
