you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I checked into jail on foursquare
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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