I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
