I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Welp...herpes.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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