we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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