Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Randomize
