Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
