Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
