Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
