and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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