I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I love having hate sex.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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