Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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