Little spoons don't ask big questions
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Randomize
