filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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