You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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