I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Randomize
