Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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