...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
