Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize