I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
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