Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome

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(440): View more from Ohio

I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet

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(517): View more from Michigan

I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"

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(416): View more from Ontario

I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?

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(551): View more from New Jersey

And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night

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(917): View more from New York City

under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift

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(540): View more from Virginia

THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.

(1-540): View more from Virginia

I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.

(540): View more from Virginia

YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.

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(614): View more from Ohio

you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call

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