The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
