you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize