just tell him i said nine months
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I enjoy the company of your penis
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
