Well apparently he's into motor boating.
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
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