just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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