and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
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