Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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