We got so high we made milksteak
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
