ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Randomize
