If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Randomize
