But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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