After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
