you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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