she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
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