My underwear smells like fireworks.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Don't tell me you're on acid again
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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