stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
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