Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
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