I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
