there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
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