Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
