Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
