We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
