my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
