: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
What a dumb baby whore.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
