Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
