Barsexuality is the new black.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Operation Purity has been aborted
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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