what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
