Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
