The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Randomize
