Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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