Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
